I have just learned of this memorial web site its a little disappointing that you can't leave flowers with out them being taken. I thank you for making this memorial website . I love you grandpa and will always miss you.
o dad just me again rodney d wade going hunting again this yr but i miss going with you but i no your there. love your son
YOU ALWAYS CALLED ME SWEETHEART
SO HERE'S A SWEETHEART FOR YOU
WE MISS YOU
Hey Dad, this is my most haunting memory. It started two years, two months and fifteen days ago. Rita called and asked if I would come down and take you to the hospital. People tried to get you to go to the hospital before but, it was only me that could ever get you to go. Like the two other times for the ulcers on your foot due to the diabetes. So, when you wanted to go all on your own, I was very concerned. When I arrived at the house, you started talking about what you wanted done if something bad was to happen. I told you to stop talking that way. I asked what was wrong and you said " I just don't feel good ". I told you that you had just gotten over the flu that seemed to hold on for a very long time. In fact, you and Rita had been down with it for a long time. Michelle and I had brought both of you something to eat when you didn't feel like moving and we thought maybe the flu was returning. You said you thought it was something different this time. I still believed that you would be fine, after all, in my eyes you were the strong invincible man you have always been. When we got to the hospital I filled out the paperwork because you hated to do it. You always told people you couldn't read or write but, we both know that was a fib. You said " It seems like you've been filling out alot of paperwork for me lately ". You had just had laser surgery done on your eyes and I talked you into seeing my family doctor the week before because your doctor did'nt seem to do much for you when you had the flu. You thanked me for being there. I told you " Where else would I be, after all, you are my dad and I love you ". You told me the last time you were in the hospital for your foot that Candy, your daughter [my half sister] spoke of putting you in a nursing home and said that you were getting old. I told you I remembered her telling you that and thought "how dumb", you were still able to get around very well on your own. You looked at me and said "Don't ever let them do that to me", I promised I wouldn't. They later admitted you and took you to a room. They weren't sure what was going on with you and wanted to run more tests. I still remember the look you gave me, as if to say "terrific" at the news. We talked about alot of things like, Rita and how you felt about your relationship together and the love you felt for her. About the other kids [ Sylvia, Ruby, Candy, Rodney and Susan [your step daughter] and their husbands. About hunting trips, Valley [your brother], Francis, both of whom sadley passed from your life, and of course, fishing. You had never, not that I can remember, ever been so open and honest about your feelings about all the things we talked about. It made me a little nervous but, I didn't tell you that. You asked me to write down Rita's, Rodneys and mine and Michelle's phone numbers in case you wanted them. I did so and gave them to you. Before I left that day, you made me promise not to tell anyone that you were in the hospital. I told you that if thats what you want, then I won't tell anyone. You said " Thats what I want ". You called later and asked me to come back up there and sit down with you and the doctors to discuss what tests they were doing the next morning. They wanted to do a bone marrow test to check for leukemia so we discussed it between us and decided to have it done. The nurse came in with the consent form and you told them that they were not to do anything to you without my permission, they said O.K. and the form was signed. You asked me before I left if I would be there tomorrow morning before the test, I said " Don't be silly, of course I'll be there". I could tell by the look in your eyes that you were nervous. The next morning you told me to tell them that you didn't want to feel any pain and they assured me you wouldn't. I had to leave the room while they took the sample from you hip but, I made sure the door was open so you could see me in the hall and you would know you weren't alone. I could tell it hurt by the grimace look you had when they gave you the shot but after that you seemed fine. After they were done I asked you "how did it go", you said "not bad". You asked me to contact your lawyer that you and Francis [ a wonderful lady who you spent many years with and had sadley passed from your life ] had used before so you could update your will. I made the arrangements for him to be up there the next day to make out your will. When I got back to your room, the doctor stopped me in the hall and said the test results would be back in a few days. Then she told me the worst thing I have ever heard and I almost buckeled at the knees. I felt as if someone had hit me with a bat. She said that she didn't think you would survive long enough to get the test results back, that your kidneys had already begun to shut down and in her opinion, you didn't have long to live. We would know more after the results came back but not to get my hopes up. [ My horrible nightmare to the news had begun ]. I asked that you not be told until we were sure of the results, to spare you the worry. She asked if I had power of attorney [POA] over your medical affairs. I told her you had already given me that responsibility because I was the only person in the family that you trusted. She agreed not to say anything to dad until they were sure of the outcome. I thanked her and did my best to compose myself and went back to see you. I told you I arranged for the lawyer to come first thing in the morning. You thanked me and said "sit down, I want to tell you something". So I did. You said "I added your name to all my bank accounts years ago", I told you that I already knew that and you said " Don't interrupt me ". You told me what you wanted in your will and what you wanted done. Then you said "look at me", I did and you said "you're the only one I can trust to get this done". I assured you that I would do everything I could to see that it got done. You thanked me. I told you that we needed to talk about letting the other kids know you were in here just in case something was to happen, that it was only right that they should know, you said "no" but, I finally got you to allow me to tell them. You said " as long as they don't all flood my room and start asking alot of questions that no one had the answers to. I said ok and left to call them. This is what started the chain of events that will HAUNT me for the rest of my life, or till we meet again. Then I can tell you how regretful I am for getting you to change your mind and allow the kids to visit you. I went to tell Rodney [ my half brother, your other son ], how serious your condition might be and asked if he could inform the rest of the kids [as I didn't know how to contact them all] Sylvia, Ruby, Candy, Susan, and made it very clear that they were NOT to rush up to the hospital and flood your room. Not to let you know what was going on until we were sure there was anything to fear, to protect you [dad] from the worries and uncertainty. When I opened your room door and saw all the people there, and the angry look in your eyes as to their presence, the total disregard for what I and you had asked them not to do. Had I known that being your POA I could have had them all removed, saving you the frustration, anger, dishonor and total lack or respect for what you wanted, I would have done so immediately. DAD, for what they put you through, I'm so very sorry. I heard what you told Sylvia as they were all leaving. " TO GET OUT, CLOSE AND LOCK THE DOOR BEHIND YOU". Those were your very last words you spoke, ten seconds later, you suffered a heart attack and never recovered. I'm sorry dad. In some ways, I feel it was my fault because I got you to change your mind and let them visit. I guess you knew their disrespect for your feelings better than I did. I should of listened to you. I rode with you down in the elevator holding your hand screaming at you not to go as they frantically worked on you but, it was not to be. I watched as the life went out of your wonderful eyes. I don't know if it was the excitement, betrayal, anger, or just Gods will that took you away. I'm so very sorry I didn't protect you better. That day will haunt me till the day I die and we meet again and I can tell you eye to eye how sorry I am. You always told people just how you felt and with your last words, I guess you told them. You had a hard life but you were always a fair man to those who deserved it. You married only twice in your life, both times to my mother. I'm sorry our family together didn't work, but thats how some things in life work out I guess. Hey dad, speaking of mom, she may be coming up soon so could you keep a eye out for her and sort of help show her the ropes? I love and miss you daily Dad, and again, I'm so very sorry. Oh Dad the disrespect, dishonor,disgrace,and the total lack of feelings for your last wishes didn't stop at the hospital, you should have seen the mockery they made of your estate, but who knows maybe you did. I kept the promises I could to you, despite there best efforts to stop me. See you in my dreams.
ALL MY LOVE, YOUR SON
Hey Dad I was just thinking of the deer hunting trip with Ed,Albert,You and I. We had been hunting down by long pond and started to walk the island to scare up something. Well it worked a doe ran up between you and I. It started walking slowly I stopped and pointed my gun at her and pulled my eye sight back to see the big picture and just over her back I saw you walking about 40 yards on the other side, you couldn't see her at your angle. I waited as you had taught me to do until she had walked by and way out ahead of you and when it was safe to shoot I did , she dropped right there. I'm so glad that you taught me to be safe and careful all the times. Had I not been taught so well the bullet would of passed through her and hit you, so let that be a lesson to all you hunters out there from my dad, always look to make sure its safe for everyone before you pull the trigger, I thank God and dad I did. You have taught me many things, wish you were here to keep teaching me today and always. Love and miss you. Hope your deer hunting where you are. Love you Dad.
Hey Dad saw a deer out the kitchen window and it brought back a slew of memories of deer hunting trips we made together. I am so happy I fought my half brother and half sisters so hard to keep this house in the family as I promised you I would do, I'm sure it played a big part in the stroke I suffered last year just from the stress. I'll tell you that disgraceful story some other time I promise, you would not be very proud of them, all the things done to dishonor and disrespect you and your memory, some people just can't help being a As-----. I sat and recalled alot of the hunting trips we made together and just being out on the river fishing together I sure do miss them. I wasn't able to bring myself to go last year but maybe this year, it wouldn't be the same without my buddy watching over me but if I do go I know your watchfull eye will still be there at least I believe it will be. Its a heart felt struggle at times dad. I will write more later. LOVE AND MISS YOU
well grandpa i have many memories of you mostly from my child hood. However you were the only one to show this girl how to shoot a crossbow and you seemed so impressed that i could pull the bow string back by myself. i know this sounds strange but every time i see or smell mint tobacco pouches i remember that you always would offer me one and of course i 'd say no and walk away shaking my head. Then there's the wine you made and would sneak me a sip of (sorry dad it had to come out sometime ) . Then there's the fact that every time i see a pile of nickles i think of your belt buckle. I can remember as a child just how cool i thought it was. I also remember how mad you would get at us kids for messing with your cable boxes. these are just a few of my more fonder memories i will always look back on and smile and think of you kindly. Still and always will miss you grandpa.
I REMEMBER ALLTHE TIMES YOU WOULD COME OVER EARLY IN THE MORNINGS TO GO HUNTING WITH FRANK AND YOU WOULD SEE ME IN THE WINDOW AND SAY " HEY SWEETHEART,DO YA STILL LOVE ME?". THE TIME YOU CAME OVER FOR DINNER AND DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE EATING LEFTOVERS. YOU ALWAYS SAID YOU DIDN'T LIKE LEFTOVERS. SO MANY MEMORIES IN THE SHORT TIME I WAS AROUND YOU. MISS THE JOKES YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME. SOMETIMES IT WAS THE SAME JOKE BUT I STILL LISTENED AND LAUGHED. WHAT ABOUT THE DAY WE HAD TO DIG FOR NEW FIELDS FOR THE SEPTIC TANK, YOU WERE ON THE ENLOADER AND ALMOST DROVE INTO THE HOLE. IT SCARED ME, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO END UP IN THAT HOLE. THESE ARE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT WILL KEEP YOU ALIVE IN MY MIND AND HEART. MISS YOU.
